Affirmation

Last night I went to my webdesign class and it was simply horrible! I missed class last week and apparently that was when they decided to get off their ass and finally do stuff! The class had been going along at such a snails pace, I thought if I read the book, I’d be fine.

I had no clue what was going on. It was that feeling where you feel so lost and stupid that you might start bawling! The teacher also threw in a few times that I and the other absent person were, “really going to have to catch up!”

My classmate kept trying to help me and I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. She even called the teacher over to help me when I didn’t want to raise my hand. I didn’t want to take time away from the rest of class; after all, I wasn’t there, so I should have to suffer the consequences. I felt so lost I considered packing up and calling it quits. I mean really, nothing has gone right since I signed up for the classes. Maybe I should listen to the signals?

I finally caught up and was following along with everyone else. I stuck it out with a big shout out to the two wonderful ladies that sit next to me. They seem to know so much more than I do. Everyone seems to know so much more than I do. During the break I talked with my classmates about how I don’t really understand what I’m doing. Even if I had Dreamweaver (the program we’re using) at home, I’d don’t think I’d know what to do with it. We jump around to so many different screens and files, half the time, I don’t know how I got there!

My classmate said I needed to get an affirmation. She suggested that I write, “I understand every aspect of Dreamweaver,” then tape it up to my computer. I guess that’s more positive than quitting. I had to stay after class so my teacher could show me how to back-up my work. Talk about leaving class feeling completely deflated.

This morning I arrived at my day job. I made the coffee, (I make it the best) opened my e-mail, read one that pissed me off and would steer the course of my day, printed my bank report and then opened my MSN Homepage. First I log on to my online radio, KKSF smooth jazz, then, I read my horoscope. The following is my actually horoscope, I kid you not:

Today's Scorpio Horoscope:

Oct 21, 2009

A project that you're working on, perhaps job-related, perhaps personal, is likely to require more creative skills than you usually need, dear Scorpio. Writing, drawing, or computer graphics and HTML may be involved. You may have some doubts about your abilities in this regard, but you're more likely to surprise yourself with the results than otherwise. You're apt to enjoy working this way and may hope to continue doing it. Keep up the good work, and good luck!

So I guess I have my affirmation! Damm, I was really hoping to throw in the towel!